Stupid what if jokes

Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way. My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. I still remember what my grandpa said right before he kicked the bucket:. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. A cat has claws at the end of its paws.

A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause. Funny stupid jokes are perfect for long trips in the car, for kids, and most importantly, to annoy your friends and family.

Or perhaps we should be hoping these stupid jokes were so bad they disappointed you. Either way, we hope these funny stupid jokes got you laughing and your mates groaning!

Our wily wordsmith, Tom, is a key weaver of yarns and the chief storyteller at Octopus HQ. Tom writes words of wit and wisdom which can be read on Yellow Blogtopus. He also helps pen the praiseworthy product descriptions that help you decide what you feel like purchasing from us. Along with our Marketing Maestro, he helps brain storm and devise new plans for how to spread the name of Yellow Octopus to deserving Australians from Kakadu all the way to King Island.

Whoops, you've been fooled with one of our April Fool's products. Delivery Delivery Icon Same day delivery within Melbourne. Help Help Icon Help. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… … but then I turned myself around.

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger… And then it hit me. I got fired from my job at the bank today. A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank goodness it was a soft drink. Have you heard the one about the bad pole-vaulter?

It never goes over very well. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention. Nacho Cheese. Want to hear a joke about construction? An irrelephant. Dad, can you put my shoes on? What do you call a fake noodle?

An Impasta. But I laugh more. Strong Aunts Q: Why do ants never get sick? A: Because they have antie bodies. A: Leeks. Make a Melonade! Q: What if life gives you melons?

A: Because they have two horsepower. A: When it becomes apparent. A: Because he neverlands. A: Flea Markets. Talking Walls Q: What did one wall say to another? Nuclear Physics Q: What is the most frightening word in nuclear physics? A: A school bus with children. A: To find Pluto. A: Because they always take things literally. A: Newfoundlands. A: A bath bomb.

Manufacturing Things Q: Where are average things manufactured? A: In a satisfactory. Making Butter Q: How much time do you need to make butter? A: An echurnity. Dialogue Between Eyes Q: What did the left eye say to the right one? Dogs and Chess Q: Which chess piece do dogs prefer? A: A pawn. A: Because every play has a cast.

Eating An Apple Q: What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? A: Finding half a worm in an apple. Stupid Animals Q: What is the stupidest animal in the world? A: A polar bear. First Telephone Q: Name the more important invention than the first telephone. A: The second one. A: In his sleevies.

The Teacher and The Lightbulb. Q: What did the teacher promise to the lightbulb? A: You will have a bright future. A: The Umpire Strikes Back. A: Because he needed some space. A: They use honeycombs. A Blind Fish Q: What is the name of a fish with no eyes? A: A gummy bear. A: Because he never pays his debts. A: I lava you. A: Because she stole his heart. A: An address. A: A Hand Solo. A: A Mississippi.

Sick Lemon Q: What do you use to treat a sick lemon? A: A lemon-aid. Broken Pencil Q: Why you should avoid writing with a broken pencil? A Singing Laptop. A: A Dell. A: Clean jokes. Magician and the Pizza Q: How did the magician make the pizza disappear? A: He ate it. A: Corny. Flying Fly Q: When did the fly fly? A: When the spider spied it. A: He pasta way. A: An experi-mint. Two Mountains Q: What did a small mountain say to a bigger one? A: Hi Cliff! A: A catfish. A: A springtime. A: On the map.

Flashlights Q: Why do people like flashlights? Tiny Mother Q: What is the name of a tiny mother? A: A mini-mum. Sacred Fish Q: Why do fish hate playing basketball? A: Because they are afraid of the net. Traffic Lights Q: What did one traffic light say to another one?